Noah the dietician

The other night we were out celebrating our awesome roommate's dinner when Noah didn't want to finish his banana:

Noah: "Daddy, did you eat a fruit today?"
Me: "Yes Noah. I had an apple this morning."
Noah: "Well you need to eat more than one fruit."
Me: "Do I?"
Noah: "Yes, you need to eat at least two fruits a day. Now eat the rest of my banana."

What choice did I have with such sound dietary advice. Granted then Noah went on to have two pieces of birthday cake.  

   

Kids Call it Like They See it....

While out back this morning:

Noah: "Mommy, why is our neighbors yard so weedy?"
Me: "I don't know babe, maybe she doesn't have a mower."
Noah: "We should get her one. Her yard looks really awful."

I mean really, ours is no prize either considering all the sod we laid last year died, but at least we don't have 3 foot weeds....

Who Has a Ticklish Penis and Doesn't Think Bad Behavior Should Be Rewarded?

Today, on the way home from a play date, we took the scenic route with hills as opposed to the highway. You know when you're driving downhill or on a roller coaster and you get that weird feeling/sensation in your abdomen? Or in Noah's case, his penis.....


Noah: "Mommy, these hills are tickling my penis!!!"
Me: "What?!?!"
Noah: "The hills. Or the car. I don't know but it's making my penis tickly and prickly."

I almost crashed into a tree I was laughing so hard. I had no idea how to respond.

Then, tonight after dinner, I gave him dessert - a small slice of vanilla pound cake...

Noah: "Mommy, I get a whole piece?!? Why? I wasn't that good of a listener today."
Me: "I think you were fine, when were you not a good listener?"
Noah: "At (*I's) house. You told me to clean up and I whined. That wasn't nice so I shouldn't really get cake. Next time, I should go on time out." (he states this with his mouth full, half the cake devoured....

Noah today with *I

 

 

 

*Not actual name, duh.

I Got Called Out on my Cleanliness OCD...

Yeah so it's been a while since we've posted new Noahethanisms. Trust me, it's not because he hasn't been Mr. Sassy pants, rather we've been too lazy.


Today, Noah gave me a very matter-of-fact parenting lesson...

Mommy: "Noah, did you feed Count Dooku today?" (The beta fish whose name changes every week)
Noah: "Hmm, I don't think so. I thought you did."
Mommy: "I didn't. So feed him please. And don't make a mess."
Noah: "Mommy, sometimes kids make messes. And it's OK because accidents happen. OK?"

Because everyone goes to law school after 2nd grade...

From the desk of Ms. Lindsey:

"When I am an adult, I will have a laptop and a sister."

"When I'm 6, I go to 1st grade. When I'm 7, I go to 2nd grade. Then you have to go to law school."


Well he is a little book worm, and carries books/journals almost everywhere...

What do Ryan Gosling and sign langauge have in common?

Every night before bed, Noah picks out a book and a song. The following conversation took place this evening:

Noah: "Mommy, I want my song to be Dead Man's Bones. But I have a question. Do kids in Congo have Signing Time videos?"
Me: "Um, I'm not sure. Probably not though."
Noah: "Maybe I can share mine with them. I think they would really like Alex and Leah. All kids should know sign language. It's neat."

Kids say the most random things.

"Mommy, look, there's an 'N' on my face!!"

Noah successfully managed to get a scar in the shape of his initial. His epic fail spill turned out to be a win!

And completely unrelated news, even Noah knows that if it's not on Facebook, it doesn't exist...
Yesterday's NoahEthanism:
"Daddy, I made a really cool dinosaur for you today at the Science Center but I forgot to put it on Facebook."